I promise if you stick with me you will see the heart of a leader emerge. I must speak of my personal experience in order to bring light to the strength in leadership I found on the other side.
This past year has presented me with many challenges that at times caused me to break down physically and emotionally more than I ever have. I felt broken. I had to really look at where I was in my life and my business. Hiding this weakness I felt inside, caused me to be unconsciously absent from my life and business when I needed to be fully present to what was going on around me.
My lesson was learning to own my decision, realizing my choices had cause and effect to what was going on inside of me. Consciously realizing I alone was the one responsible for the outcomes of each and every choice I made. The words, “We create our own circumstances and the way we relate to others is the way we relate to ourselves.” rang out loud in my head many days when I wanted to blame someone else for what I was experiencing… I only had myself to blame. The roadblocks of “What if’s” and “Should have’s, could have’s” continued to create illusion of what I could only describe as the movie “Groundhog Day”. Punishing myself about how I felt, well that also was a choice. I was stuck and burnt out.
The cause… I allowed my anger towards someone else to fuel this illusion. Not realizing I had a choice to let it go. Then the realization came to me one morning that yes, I did have a choice. There was a peace I experienced that was not present before. I saw very clearly that I had to experience this feeling of utter disappointment and betrayal in order to know true joy. To feel failure to know success. To know hate in order to feel love. To forgive myself, rather than thinking I had to forgive another. This clarity took me beyond the wall that kept me prisoner. The ego part of me that wanted to win, that wanted to be right, that knew the truth and wanted the truth to made known… well my ego needed to shut up, let it go and make a choice to learn to just BE. To stop recreating the past over and over again and start living for myself. No more blame, no more excuses, no more punishing. Only then did I “WAKE UP”. Honestly writing this and sharing this, is healing in itself.
NOW for the business connection….
When we allow our personal lives to become so chaotic that we are not present in our business the business will not grow. Without the leader forging forward the team will feel as if they have to fend for themselves. They will create what they need with instinct to carry on. If you are fortunate you will have a team that cares enough to try and wake your ass up before it’s too late. When they bring their concerns to your attention it isn’t to fight with you it’s to fight FOR YOU… and show they care. LISTEN TO THEM!!!
My 3 words for 2015
Forgiveness – The ability to move on knowing forgiveness of yourself means not holding yourself captive with punishment. That we make choices we sometimes have to learn from. There is always a purpose for our lessons… and that lesson is to become “awake”. To have vision we did not have before. Once we are made aware of something we can not ever ignore it again. We will always see the lesson if we gain from it what was needed. It will always be there and the lesson brings peace. Forgiveness is not something we do, it is something that happens.
Effort – Passion means nothing without effort. As stylists and salon professionals we talk all day long about passion for what we do. Passion is great if there is truth and meaning behind it and an effort to get the results. Efforts are visible and bring results. Look at your numbers for 2014. Were your efforts to grow your service sales present? Were you efforts to have better prebooking effective? Were your efforts to have a higher FOV (frequency of visit) successful? Were you efforts to have a greater productivity percentage fully evident? Were your efforts to be present and on time visible? Were the efforts to lead your team with a plan made known? There is no better time than the present. Know your intentions and back them with your efforts. Your numbers will tell you if the effort is there. Just getting on your knees and praying everything works out will not bring the results. We are given education, knowledge and resources, from our software company, our manufactures, our distributors, our industry associations. The purpose of these tools is to help you grow and be successful. Efforts are systems… Make the effort using systems and you will see the results. No effort, no systems = no results. Make a commitment to have systems. Create your vision, see your dream become reality.
Joy – Earlier this summer someone said to me, “find the joy joy joy down in your heart”. I heard the ‘find the joy’ part and totally missed the ‘down in my heart’ part. I kept looking for it in everything else around me. My family, my friends, my guests, nature, people passing by… looking for the joy in everything and everyone else. Then it hit me… Fully hit me, “Joy” was my choice… Interestingly enough it was made evident to me as I was writing this. That the joy IS IN ME. It is in my heart. My purpose is to love. To love who I am, to love what I do, to love those around me and to experience the joy that comes from forgiveness and my efforts to truly love.
Here’s to 2015! Find your 3 words for the year and create an amazing year of success. Be a joyful leader. =)
by Rowena Yeager, Studio Wish Salon