Movies in our heads play a daily role in our life journey. Outside influences can alter that movie when we allow them. Lets role a few movie clips and see what features stand out the most to you.
Recently I was with a long time friend having a conversation about relationships when they suddenly brought up something from my past that wasn’t necessary and firmly made a point of reminding me of a bad choice I had made in my life. At that moment my heart sank and I was taken back to the painful emotions wrapped around that memory. It hurt. I tried to blow it off but the jab was obviously intentional and aimed at making a point. I consciously had removed this out of my “movie” and left it on the editing room floor. Why was he trying to put it back in the my “movie,” I asked myself? Ever have someone like that in your life? Always eager to point out negative happenings? They are always quick to bring you the bad news flash of “I remember when you…”
I had to step back and realize that my choice in his friendship would continue to keep me in a belief that I was a bad person and made a bad choice. Then I realized I still had a choice and control over who I believed I was. I was way more powerful than someone else’s negative reminder of who they wanted me to be. What you think about me is none of my business; UNLESS I allow it to be my business. These voices in our heads play a constant movie with our beliefs of who we think we are. Outside influences will usually support this belief, because likes attract likes. Since that is the case, how do we get away from the negative ones? What is the one thing in this life you have control over? Well it’s you, yourself and your attitude. If you want scenarios in your life to play out differently you have to change YOU. Make a conscious change, an out loud kind of change… and quiet those voices in your head always speaking over you. Because these unnecessary voices are usually coming from unpaid movie extras, not leading roles!
Great example… while I am writing I am thinking, who would ever want to read this? Will someone actually gain something from my thoughts and crazy authentic nakedness? Could I make a difference in someone’s life with what I write? Or, will it just be passed over and never read. Will you comment below and say wow what a bunch of bull OR will you see benefit for you and acknowledge what your voices in your head are telling you? Will this make a difference for you? I do wonder what you will think and feel as you read this; it’s that human side that always wants to know. So, I am feeling like this is “Deep Thoughts” with Stewart Smalley from SNL right now, but I have a great point in business that I am getting to here. Are you ready because here it comes…
Our friends, spouses, lovers, relatives, co-workers and yes our employees all have a conversation going on up there under those pretty locks, or behind those blues eyes. Be conscious of it. Most of the time, people’s intentions are good. I have to believe that. Most people are not out to challenge you or hurt you, especially if they are a true friend.
Daily Energy Happens:
When we walk into our salons/spas and have an agenda in our heads that no one else knows about, we are setting a tone for that day. When each of our employee’s walks in they have thoughts floating around in their heads as well that may be focused on their day or focused on a fight with their significant other or the traffic ticket they got on their way in. We all have a constant movie going on up there that tries to control our day. When we come in pissed off at the world or an employee comes in pissed off at the world that energy can be overpowering to your entire team. What do we do about that negative air? RECOGNIZE IT! Call it what it is… call it out on the table. Don’t dwell on it but don’t try to hide it because as thick as you think your mask is… anyone that knows you can see right through your mask. Energy is contagious and recognizing it is the first step. When it’s you be authentic and say what you have going on in that pretty little head, get it out so it doesn’t keep nesting. When it’s with an employee handle it like a leader. A great example is you come in and can feel there is something not quite right with one of your employees. Rather than letting your thoughts create a nonsense story that probably isn’t true. Take a few moments to ask… “How are you doing today?” or my favorite question… “What is the most important thing on your mind today?” Then follow up with “how can I help?” It is amazing when you have open authentic communication; it relieves stress in your life. It puts everyone at ease and can tune up the energy in a room to a new high.
Paint Your Dream:
Your team wants your praise!! They want your leadership. They crave your guidance and support. As leaders we have a vision for our business and a dream that began our journey. It is in our heads and many times stays there because we don’t think anyone else needs to Know it… it is our dream right, why would anyone else need to hear it? Trust me they want to know. Share it with them. Let them know what your dream team looks like and why they are a chosen starter. Give them your full attention when they come to you with questions concerns or advice. They made a choice to be there right? They want to be successful and be part of your dream team not sitting on a bench! Keep the direction going in a positive productive perpetual motion picture.
Have a heartfelt meeting with your team about your vision, share your dream and how each team member fits into your journey. Tell each of them why you chose them to be on your dream team and what else makes an all-star? Then ask them to share what attracted them to your business and what their vision is as part of your team. As you go around the room notice the energy and excitement as each person shares and “Be in the moment”. Listen for their love buttons. When words pop up like, fun, passion, team, friends, love, customer service, community… write them down on a flip chart for everyone to see. This is your shared vision. Post it in the break room so they can see it daily. Bring all that positive energy to the surface. Let it be the driving force and the director of the collective inside voice for your team
Lastly, I want to touch on judgment. Lets leave that to the big guy upstairs. He knows what he’s doing.We don’t need to do his job too. We have enough on our plates utilizing the gifts we’ve been given. Give without expectation. We get what we give and if we give in love and give from the heart we will always know in good conscious we gave it all we could. Direct your movie in that pretty little head of yours the way you want the world to see you. Share it and Shine on!
Wish Love Fun,
Creator at Studio Wish Salon